Stage 4 The Formal Operation Stage

In this post you will learn what how your child is thinking now, and what you can do to set them up so they can grow the intelligence and self esteem, so you worry less about them in the future and just help them when it is needed.

To at around 11 years of age they can now start thinking in abstracts, now that might not mean much to you because of the word abstract , but to illustrate the point I would you think about a time you have played a video game using a character or an avatar. You know as an adult from experience that this is just a game it is not real and you go through the different levels of the game and trying to anticipate what will happen next knowing that this is not real, it may not exist in real life and it may even be a fantasy, this is how we can understand abstract.

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This is how your child is using understanding and thinking to look at hypothetical situations and try to figure out the possibilities of what may happen and what they have been told is true or not. This maybe why superhero movies do so well because of the possibilities that you may be able to do some of the things the superhero’s can do.

The other very important factor that is sometimes overlooked because it sometimes feels weird doing it, is the meta thinking.

Meta thinking is thinking about your thinking, so you get to reflect on your belief and values and if done correctly feeling why certain things feel right or wrong. In other words why do you believe the things that you believe, is it because your parents have told you to believe it or friends or family.

Now imagine as parent knowing this insight what questions and strategies do you need to do in order to prepare your child into adulthood.

The other thing to note about formal operation stage is that unlike the other stages where progression to the next stage is automatic this is not. So any thinking patterns and believes you develop in stage will remain with that child for a long term until they develop wisdom and it proves to be not true. For example superstitious believes, walking under a ladder, wearing a certain colour or a luck charm.

So what can you do as a parent to help them develop critical thinking and essentially make them smarter, well a couple of things really, firstly ask them questions on hypothetical situations like what happen if there were no more wheels in the world, or what would happen if we had no thumbs, and get them to give you not just one answers but a minimum of 10 deferent answers.

Now this stage is a very important stage and I would highly recommend that you get help and coaching for this stage of development, so please feel free to get in touch with me at:

Stage 3 Concrete Operational Stage

In this post you will learn how your child begins to solve problems in the real world.

This stage of development starts around 7 years of age. In order to understand this process so you can help your child, you need to remember it will harder for you to fool them at this stage, because they can use logic and thinking skills rather than intuition to figure things out.

To illustrate this as an adult you know the value of money and you can order the denominations of money from smallest to largest and make know how much money you should receive back if you split up the total amount you started with, in other words how much change you get back from £1 if you spend say 25p.

At this stage of development they are refining and better developing their cognitive abilities, so as their parents it is vital you understand what is going on their mind and help develop it, and the result for your child and you will be exponential if you get it right.

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Before we continue with the specific task you can do to help them develop, it is vital that you get clear in your own mind the words you will use to describe what exactly you want them to do. Because they are still developing the language and concepts be clear as to what you want them to do.

Firstly get them to categorise (group) objects according to number of sides or colour or size, also get them to estimate size and distance.

secondly get them understand things can remain the same even if the shape changes, to get them to visualise this you can two identical bottles of water, then pour one of the bottles into a glass and ask them if the amount has changed, and work with them to establish that they are the same amount.

lastly get them to understand that things can be reversed, for example using playdough to build up a shape and then flatten it and then build it up again to make the same shape, to get them to understand that things can go back to the original.

In conclusion, the Concrete Operational Stage is an important stage in a child’s cognitive development, representing a significant shift in their ability to think logically and solve problems. It is essential to understand this stage and support your child’s development during this critical period. As parents, we can also benefit from studying this stage and identifying ways to continue our growth and development throughout our lives.

if you want to discuss this or any other matter in the or previous post please get in touch at

Stage 2 Preoperational

In this post you will learn what is happening in your child’s mind as they move from the sensorimotor stage to the stage where they can recognise their own ego.

Have you ever told your child is around 2 years to share the things that they are playing with and they don’t and you angry or embarrassed, and you may even shout at them and force them to share. Well it turns out that you are shouting at them for reasons they don’t understand, because in their mind no exist other than themselves, so when you tell them to share nothing exists in the world view other than themselves, and many studies have been done to prove this.

So instead of getting upset with them, which limits the development and especially emotional development learn the strategies to help them.

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Stage 1 sensorimotor

In this post you will learn and understand the first stage of how your child develops their brains and personality, and if you can get a another perspective of what is happening in your child’s head you will be in a position to help them grow more quickly.

The sensorimotor stage- it’s a big word and might not mean much to, so I will try to break it up so it can mean something to you in order for you to use it.

We have 5 senses, sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste, we also have nerves throughout our bodies including the brain called neurones.  The job of the senses is to detect and sense the environment you are in.  The job of the neurones is to transfer the impulses to be processed so the brain can develop.  Some neurones by pass the brain and are called reflex actions, like moving your hand away when you touch something sharp or hot.

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 The 4 stages of development.

In this post you will, the four stages of development a child goes through into adulthood, and more importantly what you need to do and when you need to do it so that your most beloved person develops into a successful person who not only can take of themselves but can function in relationships, and with relationships I mean, with parents, opposite genders, work colleagues.

So as I am developing my coaching practice, and speaking to many different people, I am getting feedback on one recurring theme that is a major concern, fear and worry for parents.

That is that they are constantly, all the time everyday worried about their children.  More specifically  their education, what job will they get, sexually violence, being stabbed, and the main reason, they are not listening to me, always arguing with me doing the opposite to what I WANT them to do.

Now I am sure that most of you have been in the position where you have tried to teach your child any particular thing. It could maths, science, cooking, cleaning or even  how to shop.  Do you find yourself getting frustrated and angry to point where you lose your patience and  cant take it anymore and you end up shouting at them and telling them to go away.

Speaking my colleagues and many teachers who say the same thing, “I cant teach my own child”.  That’s always baffled me, you can teach other peoples kids and have patience with them but not your own.

So what’s going on here then, well it turns out that is not an issue with your child, its an issue with you.   speaking to parents, it seems to be an ego issue.  That is how can I produce a child who doesn’t understand, who cant understand how to do long multiplication, who cant understand how mix mortar and lay the brick in a straight line.  It feels to the adult that they feel inadequate or stupid because the child doesn’t get or understand how to do simple things, they may be simple to you and easy for you to understand but not so for the child.  This brings it down to you and how you explain things and communicate.

You should note that when it comes to transferring knowledge and information i.e teaching, miscommunication is the norm and communication and understanding what you are saying is the expectation.

I know this to be true from over 20 years in the classroom, ask the child to repeat back to you what they have understood even when its written on the board and in their books, they will always give you a different explanation or understanding to what and how you explained it.

So in the next few post, I will go into the different stages of development of a child from birth to 12 years and above, and more importantly what, how and when to say certain things and what responses to look for.

You will be look to retrain yourself on how to communicate so that you are understood, and that will come from understanding that everything has a multiple perspective on how they view a situation.

One thing to do to prepare yourself, is to speak to different people and different ages on possible the same topic.  Get their view point and understanding of it, and repeat back to them what they have said and ask them if you have understood that correctly.  If they say no, try again ask them to give you real  life example and explain it another way. 

The next post stage 1, 0-2 years sensorimotor stage.

Grow your child into a successful person

In this post, you will learn from my experiences some of the best methods to help grow and raise your child into one that won’t give you too much trouble, grief, worry and stress, because they will be independent, able to take care of themselves, be able to communicate to you and others.

As a father of five, and a school teacher, I would say I have a great deal of experience on raising and developing not only my own children but other people’s children.  Speaking to parents on parents evening and through coaching they have the same fears, concerns and worries that I had for my children, which is how do I make them smart, independent, how can I make them so they can take care of themselves in the future, how can I make them so they can communicate properly and make the right decisions in the future.

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How to get unstuck from your current position part 2

In this post you will learn about changing and feeling a particular way to get unstuck.

It turns out that people are twice as likely to avoid situations that they think might cause them harm, pain, stress and feeling embarrassed, than we are at doing the things that we want.

Think about situations where you wanted to do a particular thing, but you say I will do it tomorrow, and as we all know tomorrow never come for many people, like going to the gym, I like many people sometimes make excuse to avoid the gym which is good for me, by saying my clothes are not clean people will laugh at me, I have to plan my lessons.  This carries on until you stuck in your current position and need help to get out of it.

So what will get you motivated enough to take action to get unstuck.  Motivation is the pulling force that will make you get things done.

Motivation is an emotion that releases chemicals in your brain and they change the way so see things.

You cant just flip a switch and get motivated, so cant just say to say to yourself feel sad, and then all of a sudden you feel sad, it is a series of step you need to do in order to start the motivation.

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How to get unstuck from your current position (part 1)

In this post you will learn about methods on adjusting to change

Like me any countless others, you might find yourself frustrated and getting quite down about a particular thing or things in your life.  It might be others are moving forward with their jobs, making more money, getting married and having kids, but none of that is happening for you, and it’s just getting more depressing each day because you can’t find an answer.  I’ve been in that position many times and till this day stick get stuck.

So how did I and others get unstuck.  As with my post you should recognise a theme, which is the solutions to your problems are generally the opposite to what you think they are.  So what do I mean, many of us have become good t identifying ourselves with a particular situation.  So you identify yourself as a single person, a poor person, a person who is overweight, and you become fixed and rigid with that identity, because it is safe and you have become used it, until you see other making progress and moving forward.

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Get two things done today.

In this blog you will learn how to get twice a much done in one day.

Were you busy all day yesterday, running around doing little things or big things, but at the end of the day you realised, that you got nothing done.

You will learn, how to double the things you can get done in a day, and even have time left over to do other things, you want to do.

Most of us who have busy lives and many small things to do throughout the day, tend to choose the things which are quick and easy and not the ones that have high value and give us the most benefit.

You might be a business owner, which means you might have some flexibility as to when you go into work or start your day. So if you start you day by checking your emails and messages and responding to them, you actually start the day on other peoples terms and doing what they want you to do.

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How can a Coach Help you raise Smarter kids.

How can a coach help you raise smarter kids.

In this post you learn how to help yourself to help your children learn and develop faster.

I can remember as a child I loved to read and learn.  I would learn something new at school and would meet my mum to discuss what I had learnt, and then later on with my father.  I am sure that you have had a similar experience at some stage.

As a teacher and as a parent I get to see the learning taking place at school and at home, and how important it is for parents to provide the right ingredients for the kids to develop.

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