The 4 stages of development.

In this post you will, the four stages of development a child goes through into adulthood, and more importantly what you need to do and when you need to do it so that your most beloved person develops into a successful person who not only can take of themselves but can function in relationships, and with relationships I mean, with parents, opposite genders, work colleagues.

So as I am developing my coaching practice, and speaking to many different people, I am getting feedback on one recurring theme that is a major concern, fear and worry for parents.

That is that they are constantly, all the time everyday worried about their children.  More specifically  their education, what job will they get, sexually violence, being stabbed, and the main reason, they are not listening to me, always arguing with me doing the opposite to what I WANT them to do.

Now I am sure that most of you have been in the position where you have tried to teach your child any particular thing. It could maths, science, cooking, cleaning or even  how to shop.  Do you find yourself getting frustrated and angry to point where you lose your patience and  cant take it anymore and you end up shouting at them and telling them to go away.

Speaking my colleagues and many teachers who say the same thing, “I cant teach my own child”.  That’s always baffled me, you can teach other peoples kids and have patience with them but not your own.

So what’s going on here then, well it turns out that is not an issue with your child, its an issue with you.   speaking to parents, it seems to be an ego issue.  That is how can I produce a child who doesn’t understand, who cant understand how to do long multiplication, who cant understand how mix mortar and lay the brick in a straight line.  It feels to the adult that they feel inadequate or stupid because the child doesn’t get or understand how to do simple things, they may be simple to you and easy for you to understand but not so for the child.  This brings it down to you and how you explain things and communicate.

You should note that when it comes to transferring knowledge and information i.e teaching, miscommunication is the norm and communication and understanding what you are saying is the expectation.

I know this to be true from over 20 years in the classroom, ask the child to repeat back to you what they have understood even when its written on the board and in their books, they will always give you a different explanation or understanding to what and how you explained it.

So in the next few post, I will go into the different stages of development of a child from birth to 12 years and above, and more importantly what, how and when to say certain things and what responses to look for.

You will be look to retrain yourself on how to communicate so that you are understood, and that will come from understanding that everything has a multiple perspective on how they view a situation.

One thing to do to prepare yourself, is to speak to different people and different ages on possible the same topic.  Get their view point and understanding of it, and repeat back to them what they have said and ask them if you have understood that correctly.  If they say no, try again ask them to give you real  life example and explain it another way. 

The next post stage 1, 0-2 years sensorimotor stage.

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